grief

Prince - His Purple Badness is Gone

Where do I start? I confess, I have quite a few musical lovers. Prince was one of my earliest. He joined Stevie Wonder and was before Maurice and Earth, Wind and Fire. Prince was FINE with his big ass afro and give a damn attitude. In fact, attitude is one word that definitively defined who Prince was, and for many of us will remain.Prince Now adays, you don't have to have ANY talent to be famous. Being famous is just a matter of getting on TV. It makes me appreciate those artist who are truly talented. Prince was an amazing, musical genius. He could be arrogant because he could back that arrogance up with his many talents. I had the pleasure (and I do mean pleasure) of seeing Prince twice. The first time we were about 7 rows up, but directly across from the stage. I could see his EYELASHES, we were so close. The music was so good, that I did not sit down for the first 40 minutes. Me (and everyone else) was up, jamming it out. Prince changed clothes at least 3 times. The music never stopped. No intermission for him. The music just kept playing and he would emerge with something different one. So many men thought him effeminate, but I thought he understood women, and himself. He was not afraid to explore his feminine side and it made him sexy as hell. I understood exactly what his women saw in him. He was BEAUTIFUL. I miss him so much already. Just to the bone weary of losing the people who have inspired me for a lifetime. And imagining a world with Donald Trump as president and no Prince, Michael Jackson, Maurice White, etc to give us encouragement. DAMN IT ALL. Prince also blessed Baltimore during the unrest last year. He performed a Rally 4 Peace, and along with Jay Z, donated a portion for youth groups in the city. The link was revived today, of course. So glad I have a space to share my feelings. Rest in peace sweet Prince. Crying purple tears in Bmore today. Sharing Purple Rain with you - for all those purple tears. Thank you God for sharing this amazing talent with us, for just a little while. Seeing this photo Thursday evening brought my heart joy.What better way for Prince to say, weep and rejoice. All is well and I am home. Gorgeous rainbow, thank you God! Prince [ ATTRIBUTE: Please check: http://www.flickr.com/photos/44846675@N04/26504614341 to find out how to attribute this image ]

My Love Affair with Maurice

Maurice White of Earth, Wind and Fire was my perfect man. He was talented, passionate, inspiring and could sing his ass off. What is there not to love? My heart breaks as I sit here, reminicing about Earth, Wind and Fire throughout my life. In fact, my longest other love affair is with Stevie Wonder! So, I am sharing a bit of EWF, with the indomitable and oh, so sexy Maurice. May he rest in peace in the space and place where suffering ends and eternal joy begins. He knows where it is, he offered it to his fans right here on earth. Mauricejpg Enjoy, and if so inclinded, check out the lyrics! This song held me DOWN when I was young and feeling blue. "This World Can't Shake Me, Bad Times Can't Make Me Sad" The New York Times explains it best with this quote. Mr. White was proud of his accomplishments as a musician. But he always saw his mission as more than just making entertaining people. “It’s important to put the emphasis on the positive aspect,” he told The Chicago Tribune in 1985. “I have learned that music helps a lot of people survive, and they want songs that can give them something — I guess you could call it hope.” Cause for real, MUSIC, but especially Earth, Wind and Fire's music always gives me HOPE!

Lyrics from metro lyrics.com

Fighting God and Other Insanities

Last Wednesday March 18th I was not on speaking terms with God again. I have done this several times in my life. How long I remained on non-speaking terms depended on my circumstances and how angry I was. This is why I love having the freedom of my own personal relationship with God, one unfettered by religious fervor or mores. After all, it is considered sinful to not want to talk to God. Divine setting sun So, here is my take. On Wednesday a horrific event befell one of my sisters. Yup, another sister. Again, this sister is easy going and easy to get along with. So, what the fuck? When I go on my "I won’t be speaking to you for a while jaunts", it is always prefaced with a rant, out loud as to why. I prefer to think that instead of having to remember WHY I did what I did on judgment day, if I SAY why I am doing it, it can prompt that much needed discussion as the big and little whys of life. After all, If You Never SAY Anything, HOW will anything EVER CHANGE? This was only a short silence on my end but I am sure God was grateful for the break. The craziest part is, a few days before this event occurred, I was overwhelmed with immense sadness, so much so that tears were rolling down my face. An Angel sat with me for hours that night. The scent was comforting, floral based but not one I am familiar with. I did thank them for their presence, could have used some of that Grace on Wednesday and Thursday. I knew something was coming, it would be bad, but not for whom. Wednesday we found out. It was far worse than I ever could imagined. So, if you feel that you have a right to be angry with God than BE ANGRY! God loves you No Matter What. God’s love for you does not have to earned, you do not have to do anything to get it and keep it, FOREVER! God Is Love. That my friend is a complete sentence. Thanks for reading.

My Sister is Home

When I think of home, I think of a place where there’s love overflowing… The Wiz For the first time in 58 years, all my sisters are Not with me. My middle sister, Lisa passed away after a valiant battle with cancer on July 31, 2014. I cannot describe the space my mind or my heart is in. There is something tangible missing, a feeling of void, unreal and unwelcome. The pain is personal, as I knew how much my baby sis was suffering, I also knew how much I would miss her gentle yet fierce spirit. home in Bermuda As the most reserved of five sisters, she always stood up for her beliefs and spoke her truths - quietly. While the rest of us are boisterous, noisy bad assess, Lisa was never, ever that way. Good thing too, cause how much more could our home have taken had we all been that way? The service was truly a home going - the one home we can all be assured of receiving. No matter how bad things are, this is the time to focus on making the life of someone ELSE better. Now is the time when we can know with deep faith that in the end, Home is where we will all be. Thanks for reading this message. Know if you are losing or have lost a loved one, they will always be near you. Open you heart to feel their presence and your mind to acknowledge what you feel is real. Peace and love. Namaste

Rest In Peace Dr Maya Angelou

Dr. Maya Angelou was one of the first black female writers I had the pleasure to discover at 15 years of age. Our public library had a Bookmobile that I visited on a weekly basis. The librarians knew me by name and could tell when I was punished because I would take out 6-8 books when I was housebound as opposed to 3-4 on a normal week. In order to read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, I had to upgrade to an adult card. Then my true reading journey began. Maya Angelou was a Rainbow in My Cloud. I knew that sooner or later, she would no longer grace us with her presence. The knowledge does not ease the pain. Take a listen if you are so inclined. Thank you, Dr Maya Angelou. You will be missed by all who knew and loved your work, your heart and your spirit. Take your rest, but continue to watch over our planet. We need your kind of gumption. Peace and love Michelle

2 More Lights Gone From the World

"Good and Evil are always at war. Good men must CHOOSE!" "A Good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination" "It always seems impossible until it’s done" Nelson Mandela from Brainy Quotes! Nelson Mandela left this earth on Thursday, December 5, 2013. While I (we all) knew it was coming, I still cried when I heard the words. This man has been amazement to me. He never let hate rule his world, his words or his actions. And by all rights, he should have been filled with rage, hate and anger. But he wasn’t. It would be trite to say he was a better man/person than I, but to say he was a better person than most would be an understatement. He understood that LOVE is all that matters, that no matter how he was treated, he would respond in love. I have been bracing myself for the next death (always in 3’s) and because Paul Walker was also a humble person, I knew it would be another LIGHT. Had no clue the light would be this BRIGHT. Such a sad day. This man was a giant among men. He lived his values and his values could model an entire world. Rest In Peace gentle warrior. He never backed down, got bitter or hateful, and lived with grace and humility. A rare soul indeed... "If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling" Paul Walker Saturday, Paul Walker was killed in a car crash. A FAST car – Porsche 911. Many know him from the Fast and Furious franchise. But that sunny soul was much more than that. My favorite film is still 8 Below. I just love a good man/animal movie. I also love the Fast and Furious movies because, as a stick shift kinda girl, speed RULES! So, it was a pleasant surprise when I discovered he actually raced cars and the love of speed was genuine. I am sure it is why the movies were so good. There are many folks who have cars for status, have cars for transport, but in my younger days, I had cars that were fast. Got hooked on a 1994 Jetta and never looked back. The 1989 Integra was a little jet. I was really lucky not to have a ton of speeding tickets! Anyway, I digress. He also started a charity to get first responders on the ground as soon as possible after national and global disasters. Paul Walker died doing what he loved, giving back and riding in a fast car. May his good works live on in perpetuity. Thank you GOD for sharing both of these light filled souls with us. We need such people in the world, right now today. While there may not appear to be any comparison between these men, both shared humility and a love of serving others. What each of us chooses to do with our life, our lot, our talent and and our skills are the ingredients to make our world BETTER. So, today, ask yourself - WHAT am I doing to make life better for someone else? Am I doing enough? Can I do MORE? Sharing Gil Scott Heron's version of both heaven and hell on earth. Johannesburg! FREEDOM Ain't Nothing But a WORD! For those old enough to remember... Johannesburg By:Michelle D. Smith

Three Wise Men

“Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything; it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.” ― Dean Koontz, Odd Hours Thank you Good READS! We, my family lost 3 wise, kind, gentle and loving men this year. The injustice of losing all 3 at once left me saddened and stunned most of this year. Two were functionally my brothers. The other was an adopted dad. All offered kindness, wisdom, insight and tangible support whenever it was needed, required or just because. For my brothers, Nard and Sonny – my gratitude for putting up with my spoiled ass all these years. Sonny took me to my first nightclub (Gatsby’s) where I found out what a looker I really was. Nard made sure my daughter had whatever she needed (he was her Godpa). He spoiled HER. I had some amazing conversations with Mr.P. As I reminisce now, all were financial in one way or another. He had an immense depth to him that one could sense, but unless you took the time to talk with him was seldom shared. My life was made sweeter just knowing these amazing men. Mr. P. for that sly sense of humor, Sonny (our Veteran), for his sense of adventure, humor and that kick ass Vette (my intro to STICK SHIFT), and Nard – one of the kindest, gentlest man I have ever known Today, I thank all three for being such an integral part of my life – and my family’s life. Holidays are upon us and this one will be especially brutal. While we will get to the other side, right now the grief is still right under the surface, waiting for the silliest of things to help it bubble back to the top. Take care of each other and show your loved ones you love them TODAY. Tomorrow is not and never has been promised to any of us. All we have is now, today. Live it fully. Namaste