“Grief can destroy you –or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn’t allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it’s over and you’re alone, you begin to see that it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything; it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Hours
Thank you Good READS!
We, my family lost 3 wise, kind, gentle and loving men this year. The injustice of losing all 3 at once left me saddened and stunned most of this year.
Two were functionally my brothers. The other was an adopted dad. All offered kindness, wisdom, insight and tangible support whenever it was needed, required or just because.
For my brothers, Nard and Sonny – my gratitude for putting up with my spoiled ass all these years. Sonny took me to my first nightclub (Gatsby’s) where I found out what a looker I really was. Nard made sure my daughter had whatever she needed (he was her Godpa). He spoiled HER.
I had some amazing conversations with Mr.P. As I reminisce now, all were financial in one way or another. He had an immense depth to him that one could sense, but unless you took the time to talk with him was seldom shared.
My life was made sweeter just knowing these amazing men. Mr. P. for that sly sense of humor, Sonny (our Veteran), for his sense of adventure, humor and that kick ass Vette (my intro to STICK SHIFT), and Nard – one of the kindest, gentlest man I have ever known
Today, I thank all three for being such an integral part of my life – and my family’s life.
Holidays are upon us and this one will be especially brutal. While we will get to the other side, right now the grief is still right under the surface, waiting for the silliest of things to help it bubble back to the top.
Take care of each other and show your loved ones you love them TODAY. Tomorrow is not and never has been promised to any of us. All we have is now, today. Live it fully.
Michelle D. Smith is a visionary and spiritual gladiator seeking to share awareness with many. She is a published author who writes a relationship column for Black Refer.com.The different niches for each site allow her to reach a variety of people to amuse, entertain and inspire.
Her self published book, My Life As A Mermaid was selected for inclusion in the Baltimore County Public Library's Local Author collection!