I wrote two posts on this subject in November 2011. For some reason (whisper in my ear), I have been thinking about the subject of integrity, yet AGAIN.
I had a “frenemy” recently ask me if I still loved him. Since this would be the second time we attempted a relationship, that answer should have been self evident. However, the FAILURE of both relationships, was based on his total and complete lack of integrity.
When you are “grown” your word should be your bond. While there may be circumstances that prevent you from keeping your word, that should be the exception, not the norm. When you feel it is completely okay to blow off prior arrangements it is a problem. When you tell me something that is not true and was not true when you said it, that makes you a liar. Liars have NO integrity.
Taking this a step further, when you feel it okay to compromise your personal integrity, you are often willing to compromise your professional integrity as well. How many people other than hit men, high level drug dealers or super spies can completely separate their personal and professional lives? Not many. It takes a LOT of work to live one way and act another. It takes more work than most people are willing or able to put into a relationship, any relationship.
So Pay Attention to the people who make up your life. When a friend takes YOUR friendship for granted, it may be evaluation time. Be sure that you are appreciated for who you are. This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships. Pay attention to how many times you have been lied to or mislead. It is an important indicator of the character of the person.
Friendship is about both GIVE and TAKE. My time is VALUABLE. Please do not waste it with petty bullshit when you know you are not ready to play the game. The game of friendship must be played with heart and soul. When you find someone is playing with yours, show them the door and wish them the BEST!
I am reposting both parts of my Compromising Your Integrity on Saturday, March 23, 2013.
Thanks for reading!
Michelle D. Smith is a visionary and spiritual gladiator seeking to share awareness with many. She is a published author who writes a relationship column for Black Refer.com.The different niches for each site allow her to reach a variety of people to amuse, entertain and inspire.
Her self published book, My Life As A Mermaid was selected for inclusion in the Baltimore County Public Library's Local Author collection!